I LOVE MY WIFE BUT....
Hi. My name is Danny Hizami and I am the Frustrated Married Guy. There. I said it. I am frustrated, married, and proud of it. I have started this newsletter to let everyone know that since I've been married I haven't found a forum like Oprah, Ellen, or even Tyra to express my thoughts, thoughts that I imagine I share with lots of other men but have no way of knowing. The mere fact that I am on a first name basis with Oprah, Ellen, and Tyra should give you a clue as to how whipped I truly am. She (my wife) would have me watching a Lifetime movie starring Tori Spelling and Andrew Shue and massaging her feet right now if I hadn't barricaded myself in here with my laptop and a burger.
I (and I am guessing you) need a venting place, a forum to talk about what the f#*? is going on with my manhood. Not that long ago, I walked down the aisle and found myself on What the Hell Happened to Me Lane. My wife and I took a drive (even though I was behind the wheel, she clearly was in the drivers seat). Otherwise, why would we have rolled right past Hooters and pulled into the parking lot of the Ball and Chain Mall? Faster than a stripper collecting her ones at the end of the song, I went from being single, horny, and dating to yes, honey, I'd love to buy more designer soap that we are not allowed to use and then go home and watch a Sex and the City marathon (insert knife in own throat here).
My mission here at the Frustrated Married Guy Newsletter is to let other married men know that:
a) we are not alone, and that,
2) as much as I love to shoot the shit about the latest scores, there needs to be
a place where we can talk... really talk... about the stuff that men never get to
talk about.
This newsletter is that place.
Are you an FMG? Take the quiz:
1. Do you suddenly have washcloths, hand towels and bath sheets that match? Do you even know what bath sheets are? Do You Care?
2. Are you confused as to why you would use fine china instead of paper plates? And by the way, do you think Chinette counts as fine china?
3. Does your Tivo interrupt you in the middle of a huge game to ask if it’s okay to change the channel to “Design on a Dime”?
Do you have FMG stories of your own? Send them to us. We won't tell your wife. We swear.
Advice from the FMG
Dear Danny,
My wife wants to go to Legoland
with the kids on Super Bowl Sunday.
Should I go with her?
Signed, Steel Curtain Fan
Dear Steelers Fan,
Give her the keys to your Hummer,
and then ask her for one after the game.
Signed, FMG
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